To Be a Non-Binary Jew

“Today I will face the day with kindness, I will face the day with love, and I will face the day fearlessly.” Every morning I sent an intention for my day as I cover my head with my scarf. I look in the mirror and see my covered head, a constant reminder of my intention. 

Just a few weeks ago I started thinking about covering my head as a sign of faith. Jewish men cover their heads with a kippah as a sign of respect for Adonai. Jewish women cover their hair after they are married as a sign of modesty. I am not a man, nor am I a woman. It took me some time to become comfortable but eventually I made a decision to cover my head each day. I cover my head the way than men do but in a style that women do.

As a nonbinary person in the Jewish community there are a number of things that I’ve had to modify over my life to make them fit me. I’ve changed language in prayers, and I’ve changed gendered traditions for myself. Something that is immensely important to my spirituality and spiritual journey is that I need to be able to see myself in my traditions. When I decided to cover my head, I did it in a way that validated my gender identity.

To me, my Judaism is what I make of it. I find spirituality both in how I view the energies of the world and in my Jewish traditions. It is my goal in my life to be able to mix my spiritual understanding of the world with my love of my cultural and religious traditions. Faith is what you make of it and I love that I have had the knowledge of so many wonderful people of faith to guide me.