Whatever Is Meant For You Will Find You

This past spring quarter has been one of turbulence and contained some of the highest-highs followed by the lowest-lows in my life. At one point, I even reached rock bottom––the worst and most painful I’ve ever felt in my life. Looking back, at the end of winter quarter, I had a somewhat strange vision about my future and how there was a dissonance between the person I was then, and the person who I had envisioned myself to become. When the spring quarter began I aggressively searched for ways to make those plans, dreams, and visions a reality. 

I started off by focusing on my health, or lack thereof. I wanted to become physically  fit again––as I was a varsity athlete in high school but lost a lot of my progress and fitness due to a knee injury sustained in high school. Throughout the pandemic––with the lack of exercise––I found myself gaining more pounds than I ever have. Exercise was something difficult for me, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get myself to lose weight as I had been able to do in the past. As a home cook and food fanatic, I always found myself interested in diets ranging from the paleo diet to the keto diet. Keto was something intriguing to me––lots and lots of fats ranging from oils to dairy, with moderate amounts of protein and little to no carbs. In other words, I was excited and eager to try it. I did try it with little research about what some of the side effects were. But that didn’t matter to me in the moment because I lost almost 7 lbs in my first week of cutting carbs clean from my diet. 

One week later, my body responded in its own way to let me know that it could not handle a low-carb diet. I was nauseated, dizzy, and had little to no energy to concentrate on school work or go to the gym. I quit keto, realizing that my body was not ready for it, and spent almost a full month recovering from the effects of it. I still haven’t been able to hit the same stride in the gym or working out ever since. 

I then looked more to see what I could do to further advance myself and grow as an individual in order to achieve the goals I had set myself from the winter quarter. Having struggled with anxiety for most of my life and depression since high school, I had always thought about getting an emotional support animal. By the end of the following week, I adopted a cat with a friend helping me out since I was a first time cat owner. It turns out that I wasn’t ready at all for a pet and had to sadly give the cat back to the shelter. 

There were then two relationships that I desired a lot. Instead of taking my time, and letting things naturally occur––if at all, I pushed both individuals hard to get what I wanted at that moment. It backfired and I found myself really hurt, and it even affected my relationships with those individuals. 

Reflecting on the quarter, I realize and admit how reckless I have been for the last several weeks. I tried to force things that shouldn’t have been forced, things that should have happened organically and naturally. I wanted happiness and love so bad that I did whatever I could to make it happen instantaneously. It came at the cost of my mental health and almost my life. 

Years ago, I stumbled across a quote: “whatever is meant for you will find you.” It made me think a lot about what I’ve been spending so much time in my life trying to force. Instead of letting love, happiness, and joy find me, I chased it down instead. And that’s a race or pursuit that I was never going to win. It tired me out and drained me––but even more significantly, it sucked a lot of energy out of the ones who loved me. Getting a chance to reflect on all that happened required me to be honest with myself and admit one fact: I was reckless. And the lesson I learned is this.

You can put all of your energy chasing for others’ love, approval, and validation. You can put all of your energy into that one relationship that you really want. You can put all of your energy into trying to create the perfect life that you want. Or you can let go of all of those expectations and let love find you, and let success and a relationship find you. Because the truth is if something is meant to happen, it will. And nothing you do can stop it from happening, other than your own thoughts, anxieties, and unrealistic expectations which may oftentimes result in you not being around for the thing that was meant to happen to you. To quote someone else, “Your life was never working against you. It was merely trying to show you the ways you were working against yourself” (Brianna Wiest).

I get that there is much of a societal pressure to not settle and to work and push hard for what you want and to take risks. But if that comes at the expense of mental health, self-esteem, and your ability to live life, then it’s clearly not worth it. The universe, God, karma, whatever you want to call it or believe, has a plan and what is meant for you will find you, but you have to stop chasing it first. It’s almost always never going to occur on your own timeframe, but life doesn’t operate on your own clock. 

You have to live your life and trust that the universe will give you what is rightfully and duly yours when it believes that you are ready. If it’s meant to be, then it will be. If it’s not meant to be, then it won’t happen and then you have to do the difficult task of letting go. But in the process of letting go you have to trust that the universe didn’t let this happen to you for a good reason, and that it has something better in store right around the corner. To me, this trust in the universe’s intentions––the fact that what is meant for you will find you, is the single most powerful definition and exemplification of faith. 

Moving forward from my eventful spring quarter, I now have to live my life authentically and in a way that is not going to serve others while degrading myself. And by living authentically, staying true to myself, and not recklessly chasing what I want, I’ll be ready for the day when what I have always wanted finally finds me. 

I’ll leave you with these words I found online some time ago:

What’s meant for 

You won’t pass by you.

You will not have to force

Something that’s real, genuine

And something that’s meant to be.

Everything is always happening for

Us in divine right time, in divine order.

If it comes, let it come. If it goes, let it go.